she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
