I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
