When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
