I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
