3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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