He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
