I wish you could order shots online.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
