My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I have already put on my inside pants.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
