in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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