I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Randomize
