DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
