No awkward lesbian experiences without me
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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