Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize