hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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