I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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