apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
