last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
