How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
