everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
