it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
