Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
