worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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