i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
