Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
