You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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