Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
