remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
