whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
