So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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