watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
