You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
