East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I came so hard my ears popped.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
