I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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