I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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