in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm getting married
To pizza
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
