wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
