Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
