that's an acceptable place to lick
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
