Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
