We named our party play list daddy issues
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
