smell my finger.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
