Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
