So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
