In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
