It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
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