For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
