It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
