Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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