someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
