More tranny stories later!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
